That Gut Feeling
by Simahoyo
Summary: Jane had digestive problems. Maura's constant lecturing about Jane's eating habits could be right. Or is this more serious?
1. Chapter 1

That Gut Feeling

by Simahoyo

**Jane is having serious problems with her digestion. Is Maura right? Is it the junk food she eats? Or is it something worse?**

It was starting again. Jane Rizzoli screeched the squad car to a halt, leaving Frost behind staring, slack jawed, as she ran into the nearby public building. By now she didn't care. The weird growl in her stomach was a warning, and she had learned to heed it. She pounded up the stone steps, followed the signs while dodging people, and got to the Ladies Room. Her long legs got her there just in time.

The projectile bowel movement could be heard all over the Ladies Room, and Jane was embarrassed. Why the hell was this happening? She would have asked Maura, but she knew what she was in for. Lectures on her eating habits. Even worse would be to talk to her mother. Jane sat, waiting until she was sure everything was over. For now.

Jane got back into the squad car, glaring at Frost, daring him to say one word. Unfortunately, he had worked with her too long to let that cow him.

"What was that all about?" His eyebrows made lines between his eyes.

"None of your business. Let's get going." Jane was crabby and scared. She moved back into the traffic.

Frosted eyed her suspiciously. "Yeah? Looks like something to me."

Jane growled at him. He looked ahead, waited, then looked back at her. Jane drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. She ignored him.

"So, what is it?" His head was cocked to the side slightly.

"Nothing!"

"Maybe you'd better ask the Doc..."

"Hell no! I don't need a lecture. It'll go away."

"What will go away.? Seems like you've got something bothering your guts."

"Yeah, Yeah. It's probably a bug or something. It will pass."

Frost just looked at her, his eyes boring into her–playing bad cop.

"Alright. If it doesn't go away in a week, I'll ask Maura. Sheesh!"

Frost smirked. He held up a crooked pinky. "Pinky swear?"

"I'm driving."

"If you don't do it, I'm telling your mother."

Jane tried the death glare. Frost just shrugged. This was bad. He was immune to all her threats.

The agreed on week passed. Jane was in avoidance mode. If Frost came close, Jane ducked out.

If he caught her in the hallway, she ran for the elevator. Finally, as Jane was typing up a report, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Frost was at his desk, so she turned to see Maura giving her that level, slightly accusing look.

"Maur' Hi."

"Jane. I understand you have been experiencing Gastro-intestinal distress. Come down to my office so we can talk."

Jane could tell that this wasn't an invitation, but a command. She glared at Frost.

"Traitor."

He laughed, the rat.

Jane followed Maura down to her office. She walked slowly, like she was going to the principal's office..

When they got into the office, Maura crossed her arms. "Sit down, Jane."

Jane sat, not looking at her suddenly threatening best friend.

"Tell me what's been going on." Maura was using her doctor voice.

Jane's legs were crossed, and she swung her foot, trying to line the words up so they made sense.

Maura waited.

"I thought it was a bug. Flu or something. But then it lasted for two months."

Maura's eyes widened, and her mouth made that little round shape, as she blew out an exasperated breath. "Here comes the lecture." thought Jane.

"And..."

Jane swung her foot some more. Maura was going to make her work for this.

"Then Frost started bugging me, and said I had to tell you if it went on for two weeks."

Maura's eyes narrowed, in the pre-dangerous stage. "Aw Hell!," thought Jane.

"So you waited a month and a half, then avoided Frost until he had to come and get me? Had it occurred to you that this might be serious? Of course it didn't. My God, Jane. You have intestinal scaring. You need to call Dr. Sluckey."

"Hell no! I can't stand the guy. I'll be fine."

"I can't stand him either, but if this is an infection, or something else dangerous, you need to take care of it."

Jane thought about it, trying to look anything but frightened. She uncrossed her legs, then crossed them the other way. "Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'll do it."

"Today?"

"Maur', I have work to do I..."

Maura handed Jane her cell phone. "Call his office now. Get it over with."

Jane called.

Sluckey's office was cold. Or maybe it was Jane's fear getting to her. When they finally called her name, Jane answered the nurse's questions. The nurse was a little slip of a woman, but Jane was still nervous around her. Then she was gone. Jane tried to read an old magazine about baby care.

When Slucky sailed in she ditched it. She didn't need him thinking she was pregnant. And she wasn't unless it was virgin birth.

"What can we do for you today?"

"I've been having some problems with my stomach."

"Could we be a bit more precise?"

"_We_ have been having very loud growling noises, not like when _we're_ hungry. Then _we_ have to run to the john."

"Voiding, or a Bowel Movement?"

"What the ...heck is voiding?", Jane huffed.

"Emptying your bladder."

"Nope. It's the other."

"Diarrhea?"

Jane felt herself blush. It was bad enough talking about this stuff with Maura.

"Yeah. Projectile."

"We need to do some tests."

"Ah man, do we have to?", Jane heard herself whining.

"You shot yourself, you barely survived, and now you could have a serious infection. Or something more exotic. We don't know. So..." Slucky started writing. He wrote a lot. Jane had a feeling of drowning.


	2. Chapter 2

That Gut Feeling, Chapter 2

by Simahoyo

Jane glared at the special diet. Low fiber, whatever that was. White bread? She ate that anyway. Pasta? Fine. Canned veggies? Okay, less cooking. No coffee? How the hell was she going to wake up in the morning? Ground meat? More burgers, which was okay with her. Jane ground her teeth when she got to the last page. Clear diet? Broth, and jello. Yippee. And what was this prescription? She'd drop by the pharmacy on her way home from work. One week of a strict diet. Jane felt boxed in.

By day two, Jane was crabbier than usual, and spending half her day in on the john. She had to admit she hadn't taken it well when Korsak suggested she take the rest of the week off. Somewhere in the middle of her tirade, Cavenaugh came in and ordered her to go home.

At home, she still spent half the day in the bathroom. Then she mixed the giant jug of Movi-prep. She gagged it down with her clear liquid diet, and somehow, she felt a little better. Yeah, still on the john all day, but no growling stomach and no pain. Yeah. She sorta forgot to mention the pain part to Slucky.

The hospital trip required her to have a friend along. Frankie took her in, and Tommy was going to bring her back. Jane sat in the bed, wearing her hospital gown and robe, plus the weird socks with rubber streaks on them. She fiddled with the wrist band. And then, about the twentieth time the nurse asked her if she had sleep apnea, Jane changed from whining to grumpy mode. They wheeled her into the operating room, and put her to sleep. Jane figured they were probably glad she was out and not growling at everyone.

By the time Tommy got back, Jane was hungry, but groggy. Tommy stopped at Burger King for her, then drove Jane home. He even made sure she got up the stairs, and into her place. Jo Friday was so exited, she jumped circles around Jane's legs. She ate the burger and fries, then petted Jo Friday, half asleep.

Jane woke up to the familiar stomach growling, running into her bathroom. The problem was back.

The next day, Jane had another test. This one required no special diet, just pushing a thin tube up her nose. The nurse explained the procedure, while Jane nodded. After the diet one, this should be a snap.

"It should hurt just as it passes through your sinus, but after that, you should he fine", said the doctor. Then she started to thread the thing up Jane's nose. The damn thing _hurt_. It hurt enough that Jane wondered if the Geneva Convention had outlawed it. God. She gripped the table hard.

When it was finally pulled out, Jane felt herself relax.

"That was torture. What the hell?"

"Have you ever broken your nose."

"Yes, but my doctor set it only an hour after I broke it."

"That has to be it, unless you have Native American ancestry."

"Nope, All Italian."

"If you ever have to do this again, ask for a child size tube."

"Now you tell me."

Back in Slucky's office Jane listened to everything she didn't have. She kept nodding, waiting to hear what was wrong. Slucky droned on. She was thinking about slugging him, when he finally said something useful.

"We believe you have irritable bowel syndrome. We have a prescription for you and a special diet."

"Not another one. And you believe? Don't you know?"

"We have eliminated so many things, that this is one of a handful of things left."

Jane looked at the diet. Her heart sunk. Maybe it was time to talk to Maura.

Jane drove over to Maura's and found her cooking with Angela in the kitchen. The food smelled like garlicky heaven. But, she thought about her close relationship with bathrooms. Jane sat down at the island and waited. She could count on Ma to ask her questions.

"So, Janie, what did the doctor say?"

"Irritable Bowel Syndrome."

"What's that?"

"I don't know."

Maura huffed. "That's the catch all when you don't know the answer. Exactly what are your symptoms again?"

Jane could recite them in her sleep. "My stomach growls like it never did before. It feels like icy fingers are squeezing my guts. And it just goes on and on. I run for the bathroom, and then I have projectile pooping."

Maura raised her eyebrows, shaking her head slightly.

"Well, that's what it is, Maur'. And it keeps up until I can trust it's finally over for sure, then I can get back to normal until the next time."

Maura was thinking. She had that look. Like a human computer or something. "How long after you have eaten?"

"Sometimes an hour or so, sometimes just a few minutes. It's funny, when I went on that special diet, it was awful until the last day, it was better with the clear liquid stuff."

Maura and her Ma looked at each other.

"Janie, do you remember your Uncle Alfredo?"

"Yeah, the one who always brings his own food to everything."

"Maura, do you think Janie could have Celiac disease? That's what Alfredo has."

Maura's face told the story. She was mentally kicking herself for not having thought of it herself.

"Thank you, Angela. If it runs in your family, it very well could be. It certainly would be better than full-fledged food allergies. I read that Carol Channing had to bring her own food to a White House dinner because of her food allergies."

"Oh God, a disease? That sounds scary. I don't need a disease."

"It just means you can't have anything with gluten in it."

"What's_ glue in_ ?"

"Gluten is what makes bread stick together. It's in wheat, rye, oats, and barley."

"God, that's in just about everything. How do I find out if I have it?"

"I'll do a blood test for you. There are genetic markers that usually show up. The more you have, the worse it is."

"Oh man!"

That blood test was positive. And only one marker showed up. Maura explained that Jane was lucky, this meant that she wouldn't have to throw out all her pots and pans, and buy all new ones, or stop eating in restaurants. Angela pushed her to call her Uncle Alfredo. Jane thought he was weird, until he heard about her problem. He was sympathetic, and rather sweet. He offered to take her shopping.

Jane met him at an Asian market. He was tall, like her, and had the curly black hair of a true Rizzoli.

"Hi, Uncle Alfredo. Thanks for helping me figure this out."

He grinned. His grin looked like Frankie's. They grabbed a shopping cart and went down the narrow aisles. They stopped at the noodle aisle. Alfredo picked up a package of noodles.

"The ones that look like short fettuccine, are rice noodles. Look at the label to make sure that's all that is in it.' The skinny ones that look like angel hair are rice sticks. Never buy anything without reading the label. Okay, next aisle. Rice flour. You mix it with tapioca flour" He picked up a small sack, then another, "and chickpea flour, to make flour. I'll write down the recipe for you. Next is soy sauce. Most has wheat in it, so look at label, see it says, wheat free, so grab that one. That's it for here."

They put the food in the trunk of her car, then she followed him to one of those stores Maura liked. The place was huge. She followed her uncle straight to an aisle filled with various grains.

"Here is a new friend for you. It's called quinoa. Just follow that package directions to make it. And this one is a macaroni made of brown rice. You need to follow the package directions on this one too. If you cook it like regular pasta, it gets mushy. "

"Okay. I'm with you so far."

They went to the freezer aisle. He dug out a loaf of bread. "Janie, this is not good bread. You'll have to get used to the fact that most gluten free bread is either not so great, or down right awful. This brand is not terrible. You don't have to toast it to gag it down. It doesn't taste like Styrofoam, and it doesn't fall apart when you pick it up."

"Yuck. What's the point then?"

"Sandwiches are easy to carry, quick to make, and you should at least try it. Of course you could always use tortillas."

"Corn tortillas I suppose."

"This is the fun aisle, Janie. Look, not only corn, but golden teff tortillas, pizza crusts, pie crusts,

and behind us...Look!"

Jane's eyed grew huge. There were chocolate pies, brownies, cookies, cakes, donuts, and waffles.

"Is this like celiac heaven?"

"Seems like it. It used to be you had to make all your own. That's how it was when I first found out I had it. Now look!"

Jane left with four bags of goodies. She spent more than she ever had for food, but felt it was worth it.

One week later, Jane was feeling energetic, could sleep at night and only used the john as often as everyone else did. She was even less cranky.

It was lunch time, and Jane got out her sandwich. Peanut butter and fluff in a corn tortilla. She had even figured out how to cut it so it was easy to handle. She washed everything down with milk. Frost kept staring at her. He motioned to Korsak, so Jane figured they were about to give her the business.

"What the hell are you eating, Rizzoli?", asked Korsak.

"My peanut butter and fluff sandwich." And Jane took a big bite.

"What is that on the outside? It looks like a tortilla.", said Frost.

"Yeah, that's what it is. It's better than the disgusting bread I'm supposed to eat."

"Oh look, Frost, Rizzoli was gone all healthy on us."

"Yeah, I have. Within reason. Notice, no veggies or milk or any other healthy crap. But I do have a cookie."

They stared at her as Jane unwrapped her big, lovely chocolate chip cookie and bit off a chunk. She chewed it as if she had died and gone to heaven.

"It's perfect with milk. Yum." Jane ate with exaggerated zest.

"So, Rizzoli, are you over being mad at me for telling the Doc on you?" Frost looked a bit anxious.

"Yeah, you're forgiven. But I'm not sharing my desserts with you two."

**A/N Celiac disease is unfortunately more common with Italians than any other European ethnic group. The Celts (Welsh, Irish, Scots, Manx and Bretons) appear to be the second largest group with this problem. If you suspect you may have Celiac, you should have the test, because it can really damage your intestines if you do not discover that you have it.**

**Food choices used to be very limited, but now there are many products made gluten free.**

**The Essential Baking Company is now making a pretty good bread that is gluten free. Look for Sunny Seeded White bread.**


	3. Chapter 3

That Gut Feeling, Chapter 3

by Simahoyo

What a rotten, long, hot, busy day. Jane and the rest of her homicide team had caught a double homicide in a state park, naturally in the hottest, most treeless spot. Frost lost his lunch a few times, while Maura chatted happily about high pressure systems, and the heat wave. By the time they got back to Schroeder Plaza, Jane was pacing, waiting for Maura's report, Frost's computer search, anything that would get them on the road again.

When they finally had people of interest, she and Frost took off for the most boring subdivision in Brookline. There, they interviewed the dimmest bulb in the entire city. Frost was nodding off when the guy finally said something useful.

"And then, he was gonna see his cousin..."

"When was that?", demanded Jane.

"Last night, during the news. Not the national news, the local news. You know, the one with the

fat weatherman. That's when he left."

"Okay, thanks. We'll check into this.", said Frost.

They went out the door, and practically sprinted to the squad car. Then called it in to Korsak, and got the cousin's address. It didn't take long to get to Dorchester. They found the address, in a really sketchy neighborhood, and knocked on the door.

When the door finally opened, the guy at the door took one look at their badges, and took off running. Jane and Frost were right behind him, as he zipped up alleys, jumped construction barriers, and, stealing a kid's bike, pedaled the wrong way on a one way street. Snarled traffic tripped them up, then Jane took one side street while Frost took the other, and they had him. Only after Jane made a flying tackle, naturally.

"Another pair of pants with the knee torn out.", she said as Frost read the perp his rights. Then they grinned at each other.

They delivered their prisoner back to the station, and questioned him. It took so long that Jane was getting frustrated. Finally she left the room and used her cell phone.

"Maura? We're not getting anywhere with this perp. Could you come up and do your reading expressions thing? Please. Because you're so good at it. Come on, Maur'. You will? Great. Thanks."

Jane went back to the interview room and made her sign for Maura. Frost grinned, sitting quietly, writing in his notebook.

Maura walked in looking slightly cross. She sat between Jane and Frost, opposite the perp.

She borrowed paper and pencil from Jane, and they continued the questioning.

Jane watched the perp's face as Frost re-questioned him. As he told Frost his alibi for the time of the murders, Maura caught Jane's eye. She placed her fingers on her neck–miming a breakout of hives. The guy was lying.

"Are you sure you were playing cards with your neighbors from ten to midnight?"

"Like I told you, like forty five times, yeah. I remember because I lost ten bucks."

"I think you're lying. Frost, let's start calling some of those other card players."

"No. Don't do that. I, uh, I wasn't there. I was with my girlfriend. She's married."

Jane looked at Maura. She gave Jane the hives signal again.

"Try again."

He squeezed his eyes together, and caught his breath. "Who is she? Some kinda cop psychic? Ok. I did it. I shot those jerks. Are you happy?"

"I will be after you write out your confession."

The rest of the day was centered on writing reports, and formally sending their prisoner to jail.

By quitting time, Jane, Frost and Korsak were so ready for a night at the Robber, they could hardly stand it. Jane called Maura and invited her to join them. They gathered at their favorite table, and sat back.

"I can't wait for a nice, cold beer. I have really earned one.", said Jane, relaxing for the first time that day.

Korsak looked at Frost, who looked at Maura.

"Jane, you can't drink beer anymore.", dared Korsak. He then ducked his head."

"What did you say?", she yelled. "Oh no, they can take away my pasta, my pizza and my bread, but I'm not giving up my beer."

Frost eyed her, speculatively. "Remember what your life was like before."

"Don't start with me, Frost. It was the one thing I was thinking about all stinking day." Jane turned to Maura. "I suppose you're going to get on my case too."

Maura smiled. "No. I took care of it. Let me order for you."

All three homicide detectives looked at Maura in shock. When Frost went up to get their drinks, Maura went with them. And Maua returned with a drink in each hand. Wine in her left, a beer in her right. She set the beer down in front of Jane.

"What is it?" Jane eyed the glass suspiciously.

"You have two choices. See which one you like best. This is Bard's beer. It's gluten free."

Jane almost would have kissed Maura if they had been alone. This was so kind, and so absolutely typical of her. Jane steeled herself, hoping gluten free beer wasn't as bad as gluten free bread. She took a taste, and it wasn't bad."

"How is it?", asked Korsak.

"It's okay."

Jane finished the beer. It was cold enough to hit the spot. They talked for a while, then Jane handed her glass to Maura. "You said there was a second choice?"

Maura smiled, and took off for the bar. She came back with another beer for Jane. This one was darker, and when she tasted it, she smiled. "This is good. I usually hope something isn't awful, but I would order this if I didn't have to. It's like a good micro-brew."

"This one is called Greens. I told the bartender about your problem, and he offered to find a decent beer for you. So, he'll order enough to keep you supplied. And I'll pick some up for you too. We can't have movie night without our favorite beverage choices." Maura's dimples showed.

"Thanks, Maur' That was really good of you."

"How much does he have back there?" asked Korsak.

"Hey, old man, are you up for trying out Jane's beer? If you do, I will."

"I'll go ask him how much is left. And don't drink it all if you like it. I need something left for me."

Jane made her way through the crowd to the bartender. "Hey, thanks for the Gluten free beer. I've decided I like the Greens best. Now Frost and Korsak want to try it. How much do you have back there?"

The bartender grinned. "I knew those two would want to get into your beer. I have three bottles left, plus a bottle of Daura, just in case you hated both of the others. The Daura is on the house this time because its pricey. You probably don't want to make a habit of drinking the stuff. The Daura is a little redder, so you can tell which is yours."

"Thanks. I'll take all three."

As Jane wandered back, the guys were still teasing each other about trying gluten free beer. He put it down for each of them, then her's in her place.

As Jane folded herself back into the chair, Maura reached over and took the glass from Jane.

"I'd like a little taste."

Jane owed the whole experience to her, so she just nodded. She watch Maura sip, then smile.

"That is actually rather good."

Jane confiscated the beer before Maura drank too much more, and tasted the pricey beer. She actually preferred the Greens. Jane pushed it back to Maura, who finished it. Korsak downed the Greens and smiled. They watched Frost's face carefully.

"Hey, not bad. Reminds me of Fat Tire.", said Frost.

"Hey", grumbled Korsak, offended.

"It's a Belgian Beer, Korsak. How was it for you?"

"I'd drink it again."

One more dietary bump gotten over. Jane grinned, thinking about the whole experience.

Her gut was behaving. This hadn't been such a horrible situation. And she had gotten to know an uncle she hadn't been close to. Now they would attend family dinners with their own little meals packed up ready to go. And thus ended her close and entirely too personal relationship with the John.

The End


End file.
